While I want to be speaking up myself (and am, in various ways), it's not my voice that needs to be heard right now. It's the voices of our black citizens that need to be supported and brought to the forefront. I asked my dear friend Alexis if she wanted to write something to post here; she gave us the powerful thoughts and life story of below. This is her time. Thank you, Alexis.
The past few days have been emotionally taxing as a black person in America, but I can’t say I haven’t experienced this before because everyday in a black body is emotionally taxing. From the constant shock I impose when I express my intellect, to store owners guarding property under the assumption that I will steal, it is beyond exhausting. The events of the past month involving the murders of Ahmaud Arbery, Breonna Taylor and George Floyd have shaken the very soil America stands on. But why? Why did these three murders seem to matter so much more than the Trayvon Martin case in 2012 when I was 12? I can’t help but think that it is because now the world had physical evidence of what black and brown communities across this nation have known for decades: our lives are not of value.
What many people fail to realize is that these murders didn’t incite this uproar alone. This is the effect of years of systemic oppression, that one blog post can’t begin to fully explain, that have overflowed because it took individuals watching videos of 2 men being murdered to hear what I personally have been screaming about since the Trayvon Martin case, what my parents screamed about since Rodney King was beaten by LAPD in 1991 and my grandparents screamed about since Emmett Till was lynched in 1955 over a crime it was later confirmed by the prosecutor he did not commit. During these decades, we have tried and tried to come up with ways in which our allies and oppressors can help us and hear us, but every time we are labeled as disrespectful or oversensitive. We are told if we don’t want to get in trouble, don’t do anything wrong. We are told we’re all in this together and that all lives matter. The saying, “I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired” doesn’t even begin to explain the feeling, but that’s where we are right now. We can’t watch another video of a black man being murdered. We can’t wait for another hashtag of a name to come and go. We can’t wait for another political activist to rise up and then be assassinated. We will not sit and be quiet when we now have even more physical evidence to prove that we are being murdered by those we “trust” to protect us. The abuse of power will no longer be tolerated and if you are genuinely confused about how we got here, educating yourself needs to be your first priority. You clearly have not been listening or paying attention. If your focus is on looting and destruction, you have not been listening or paying attention. I grew up in a household that taught me about my history because my parents knew I wasn’t going to get certain lessons in school. My true history didn’t have the luxury of being in my history textbooks. As a result, I had required readings and essays to understand where I came from that I submitted to my father over the summer. I had to watch movies to understand what my ancestors went through. All this because I believe my parents knew that no matter how fortunate we were to be a military family and to be educated, somebody somewhere would look at me like an animal and they were right. I did all that research before I got to high school, so there is no excuse for non people of color not to take this time in quarantine to sit down and learn about something outside themselves. Believe it or no, it still affects you.
The Economic Policy Institute states ”...black workers make up about one in six of all front-line-industry workers.” While this percentage is safe from job loss, which is also disproportionately affecting our communities, we are at a higher risk of attracting COVID-19. While rounds of applause and signs saying thank you are nice, for our communities what would be most helpful would be to stop intentionally killing us.
Over the past few days, I’ve made myself a resource people can use to come to and have an open dialogue. I’ve always loved engaging in conversation and doing my best to educate those who have questions before the hashtag begins trending. I’m sure I’m not the only one, but when I think about how many resources there are that I didn’t have, my patience is beginning to wear thin. I’m grieving on my own and now I have to carry the burden of educating those who have had the same if not more opportunities to educate themselves? How is that fair? You’re right: it’s not. Especially when you don’t even have to crack a book anymore. Directors like Spike Lee and Ava DuVerney have done a beautiful job of creating award winning documentaries and movies so that you understand the black experience without having to leave your living room. Take advantage of that, because we’re tired. Keedron Bryant’s song that has been trending on Instagram has been ringing loudly in my ears since I saw it, “I just want to live. God protect me, I just want to live.” That’s all we want. Why is that so difficult to understand?
Not everyone can be on the front lines, sometimes that’s not your calling. I don’t think any less of you if you can’t be out there marching because what you can do is learn, donate, raise awareness, elevate and amplify black and brown voices, donate supplies, call/email elected officials, and vote. What you can NOT do is remain neutral or silent. Desmond Tutu said, “If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor.” Imagine if the 3 cops had just tried to stop Derek Chauvin? Their silence was violence and a loud action of the support of oppression.
So where do we go from here? I don’t have all the answers, but I do know that the same passion and determination we have shown up with in the past week has to remain within us everyday after the protests end, and after the hashtags die. Every industry has a form of its own systemic racism that needs to be dismantled in order for us to truly make some sort of progress. No one gets a day off from their black or brown skin and we should treat activism the same way. As tired and hurt as I am, I still have hope. I have hope that one day people will see my skin and honor it, instead of fear it. I have hope that Gianna Floyd will see that her dad really did change the world and I have hope that every minority in this country will be able to do more than just live, we will thrive. It’s a long winding road ahead, but the destination will be so beautiful.
“Ignorance allied with power is the most ferocious enemy justice can have” - James Baldwin
(If you are unfamiliar with any name I have used, do yourself the pleasure of looking them up.)
Resources:
Ways You Can Help: a frequently updated list of petitions to sign, politicians to write to, and organizations to donate to, along with resources for protester safety
Antiracist Allyship Starter Pack: a comprehensive spreadsheet of articles, books, podcasts, films, and more to educate yourself with
Campaign Zero: an organization working to implement solutions to end police brutality
The NAACP Legal Defense Fund: America’s premier legal organization fighting for racial justice, working via litigation, advocacy, and public education to bring about structural change in our society
Black Lives Matter: the contemporary hub of information surrounding systemic racism and police brutality; you can find many more resources here
The National Bail Fund Network: a directory of the bail funds in each state